Chosen

 As I sat down for some 'quiet time' this morning, I was praying. 

'God, thank you for meeting me here, for spending time with me, for joining me in my chaos, time we both know will be interrupted. Thank you.'

Then proceeded to open my Bible to Isaiah 53.

“He was despised and abandoned by men, A man of great pain and familiar with sickness; And like one from whom people hide their faces, He was despised, and we had no regard for Him.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭53‬:‭3‬ ‭

Jesus wasn't heartthrob level. He had nothing about Him that would physically draw us to Him. There was nothing about him physically that would stick out as something that would make us want to follow Him, flock to Him. He was rejected and despised.

“However, it was our sicknesses that He Himself bore, And our pains that He carried; Yet we ourselves assumed that He had been afflicted, Struck down by God, and humiliated.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭53‬:‭4‬ ‭

He carried our junk and we assumed His heavy, His burden, was something He'd brought on Himself. 

“But He was pierced for our offenses, He was crushed for our wrongdoings; The punishment for our well-being was laid upon Him, And by His wounds we are healed.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭53‬:‭5‬ ‭

He suffered, greatly might I add, on the cross, just for us. He went through torture, just shy of death, so we could have a future with Him. 

“All of us, like sheep, have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; But the Lord has caused the wrongdoing of us all to fall on Him.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭53‬:‭6‬ 

He knew we were going to fail. Knew we'd mess up in so many ways, and yet... 

"the Lord has caused the wrongdoing of us all to fall on Him.”

He choose us. Knowingly. Purposefully. Enduringly. He wasn't surprised with the pain, or even His death. He chose it. Because choosing it, meant choosing us. It meant an option of eternity with Him. 

Of course, He's going to met me in my chaos. The one where the baby cries and needs my attention. The one where the teenager interrupts. The one where I have to pause to console a tumble. The one where my tearful praise is done rocking a little one in my lap. 

He sees me there. He choose me. Went through torture, death, hell, the grave, and rising again to have a chance at being by my side. Knowing I'd mess up. Knowing I'd be distracted. Knowing I'd forget the magnitude of the gift He gave at great cost. Choose me. Choose me regardless, despite, because of....

Chosen. 

Of course He sees me there. Of course He meets me with great hair, sleep rumpled clothing, covered in cranky babies, surrounded by enough toys to stock a toy store. He fought for that privilege, for that honor, to the point of death, because HE deemed me worthy.

Oh Father, forgive me for the times I've forgotten or downplayed that love and sacrifice. Forgive me for belittling Your gift and waving it off as if 'I don't have time.' You humble me, meeting me in my mess and treating me like a treasured daughter. Thank you for loving me so fiercely. Thank you for showing up every time, even if I don't. Help me never forget that immense, saturating love. 

There are so many thoughts skittering through my brain right now. So many truths that He's poured over me time and time again and brings to the forefront again this morning. The biggest thought was how deeply He loves me. Loves us all. Even knowing we can't possibly 'measure up' or attain perfection, He loves us exactly as we are.

For some, that's going to be in the throes of motherhood with their clothing stained with various bodily fluids. For others, that may mean on the floor of a crack house, perhaps a jail cell. Maybe it's a boardroom surrounded by expensive suits. Sometimes, that means the sanitation worker in the sewage pipes under the city or the electrician up an electric pole in a rain storm. It doesn't matter who we are, what we've done, or haven't done. He loves us wholly and completely. Died for us. Choose us. You, with all your ugly things that you don't want to share with anyone. You, with the attempts at perfection where you're failing but can't talk to anyone about the overwhelming burden of it all. You, with the thoughts of depression and suicide as life has been so heavy. You, with more bills than money. You, with more money than you know what to do with. 

He chose you. 

He died for you. 

The one that's running scared. The one that doesn't know where to turn. The one that thinks they have life figured out. 

 

“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭28‬ 

Loved so immensely He died to spend time with you. Meets you exactly where you are, regardless of where it may be. Shows up every time. There's no limit to this love. You can't be good enough to not need it. You can't be bad enough to not deserve it. ‭Man, it's so humbling.